Iron Chef Brandy broke new Iron Chef ground in many ways. First, it broke a kitchen cabinet, second, it broke the living room carpet, it nearly broke a floor lamp, an old 8 mm video camera and a couple wine glasses. Physical destruction aside, the metaphoric ground breaking was in the invitation of females to the kitchen arena and the breaking with the traditional beer sponsorship of the event. These were two decisions, in retrospect, we should not have made simultaneously. For what was to replace beer was wine and brandy - both of which, a quick inquiry of the respective labels will tell you, are much higher in alcohol content. This information becomes even more relevant when one considers that the mere presence of females is an intoxicant in and of itself. Add to these factors the intense competitive atmosphere of an Iron chef event and one is simply inviting sheer bacchanal chaos – people will run into doors, they will spill penne all over the floor and kitchen counter, they will fall into lamps of their own volition, they will shove competitors causing wine glasses to be upturned, they will videotape themselves wiping sticky food affectionately on the faces of any who stray near, they will blissfully bang cabinets until the cheap particle board splinters in surrender – and sometimes these people will be just one person, but I digress.

The challenger is unable to just let the broccoli do the talking


The challenger reacts to the dreaded bacon

Brandy proved to be a highly entertaining ingredient as did the presence of three chefs in the kitchen – the new challenger Diason Bugdok of Thiland, Iron Chef Czec Repuplic, and assistant chef and troublesome guido Vince Tomelli – the drinking contests were of grander scale and the fights over equipment more intense (one particular conflict involving a contested lid lasted over 15 minutes and ended with said lid flipping into the challenger’s sauce). The competition was, over-all, an energetic, amicable, shit-talkingly unscrupulous affair.

Iron chef’s special tip: To remove a wine stain, mix 1 part concentrated Dawn dishwashing soap (the blue stuff) with 4 parts hydrogen peroxide. Daub this mixture on the stain – it will vanish before your very eyes. For a neat trick, while visiting mom, ostentatiously pour a small amount of red wine onto her lightest rug or carpet. Stamp it in for good measure and let dry. Then, just before you are flogged or driven from the house, produce the aforementioned concoction and amaze your audience!