Urban Safari
Although the following material is not intended as offensive, if you are easily offended, please turn back now
The nature of style Taxonomy
Dr. Ventrice, Prof. Houts and Captain Houts preparing for Safari Excerpt from a lecture of Dr. Ventrice’s to his introductory social style of the urbanite class.

So basically what you have are these “urban jungles” crawling with the most fascinating creatures the imagination can fathom, and some it can not. What distinguishes these animals, what makes them so utterly fascinating and worthy of our study, what separates say a latino-ricosuavo from your common latino-vato, or your elderlain-cantankerous from the more common oldjovius or (the all too common) oldblandus. The answer is that indescribable something known as style. Now there is regional style and pop-culture based temporal style, and even middle aged lack of style and then there is unique style; style out of its time and place, particular to a select few. Where do these aberrant styles come from? Are they indicative of microcultures coexisting silently in the shadows of our own? Whatever the answers may be, it is evident that we can learn much from these independent souls. They shun the coercive forces of MTV and Hollywood, they are no surfer dudes, no valley girls or slim-shadies - simple souls uncomfortable with their individuality and pathetically unworthy of study, rather they are absorbed in some other purpose or calling, acting under the influence of unfathomable compulsions. It compels one to wonder, ‘what do they know that I don’t, what is the source of their secret calling? It is not within the scope of this class to address these questions, which are the subject of my upper division class the sociological sources of aberrant style, but rather we are here simply to learn how to identify, categorize and comprehend these unique souls. It is my sincerest wish that by the time you leave this class you will have come to understand how the majestic creatures studied, here in this class, and by myself and my colleges out in the field, are the truly remarkable and unknown heroes of the animal kingdom.


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