“We’re lost.”

“No we’re not.”

“Oh, yes, we’re quite lost,” the first little ant was quite adamant.

“If I tell we’re not lost, my statement is inclusive of both you and me. Regardless of whether you are lost, I am not lost, therefore, we are not lost.”

“Yes we are.”

The second little ant nearly fell off of the wall.

“Look,” the first little ant said, with some patience, “we are on what appears to be a massive, white, vertical surface.”

“So we are.”

“We are supposed to be in the grass, looking for food.”

“We are looking for food.”

“Since when is food associated with massive vertical surfaces?”

“You never know”

“I know that food is usually on the ground, where gravity compels it.”

“You can’t claim to know everything, so you never know, besides this is just on our way.”

“On our way where?” the first little ant asked with a wry smile.

“To over there, where all the light is.”

“It is rather dark here. Where the hell are we?”

But the second little ant, perhaps in avoidance of the question, had already departed in the direction of the light.

“See, look, I told you, we’re on horizontal ground again,” the second ant said some minutes later as they came around onto a slick white surface.

“This isn’t the ground.”

“And why do you say that, you pessimist?”

“Because usually there is dirt and grass on the ground, or at least the bricks.”

The second little ant looked down. Disappointment crossed her face upon discovering the complete absence of dirt, grass or bricks.

“You never know,” she said.

“We’re almost there,” said the first little ant.

They continued across the slick surface which was growing ever brighter and climbed a short incline toward what appeared to be an opening to the sunlight.

“Here we are! I told you; we simply go through here and we’re back on the right track again.”

“Where are you going?” asked the first little ant who had stopped walking.

“I’m going out,” said the second little ant looking down on the first.

“It looks like you’re going up.”

“Up? Don’t be fatuous, how can I go up?”

“I don’t know.”

“Exactly.”

“But, despite our ignorance the fact still remains that you are going up.”

The second little ant looked about herself. She was elevated and clinging to an invisible vertical surface.

“What the hell?” she said irascibly.

“Excuse me,” said the second little ant, addressing a pill bug who was ambling about dustily in a ditch beneath the invisible surface, “you there, can you tell us where we are.”

The pill bug looked up sleepily and attempted to rub the dust out of his face.

“Why don’t you come up here where we can talk?”

“Oh, up there? Ah, just one moment.”

The pill bug searched about until he found a foothold and then clambered out of the ditch.

“Oh thank you, it was quite dreadful down there, all dusty, and there is a spider about somewhere that keeps trying to catch me.”

“Dreadful,” agreed the ant.

“What are you two talking about?” demanded the second little ant from up above.

“I’m about to ask him how to get out of here,” the first little ant shouted back.

“Oh dear, I’m afraid I can’t help you there,” said the pillbug with a hint of embarrassment, “I’ve been stuck here for a few days now.”

“Days!” exclaimed the second little ant who had descended to within earshot, “we’re doomed!”

“What do they call this place?” asked the first little ant.

“Well, a fly I met the first day I was here, told me they call it the sill. He didn’t seem too pleased to be here either. He was so tired, he kept telling me so.”

“The sill,” the first ant repeated.

“The what?” said the second ant who had just returned.

“The sill,” the first ant said again.

“Never mind that,” exclaimed the second ant, “do you smell that?”

“What?” said the first ant, but the second ant had already scurried away.

“Can you help me,” asked the pill bug, “I’m rather worried I mightn’t get out of here.”

“Bwah ha ha!” the second little ant shrieked, “Strawberry jam, I tell you, we’re rich! I’m brilliant – I planned it from the start.”

“What now, the first ant wondered as she made her way over to where the second ant was cavorting and chuckling with irrepressible glee.

“Jam, jam!” She shouted, nearly frothing at the mouth.

A spot of jam was, indeed, resting on the smooth white surface.

“I’m so smart!” the second little ant began to sing.

“You’re so lucky,” the first little ant responded, as she reached into the jam to grab a mouthful.